When is enough, enough? It seems as if so many women are so desperate for love, attention, affection or honestly any type of emotion that they repeatedly settle for less or for something that will never be their own.
We live in a generation where sidechicks are the norm, and girlfriends, fiances, and even wives have learned to live with this and some even turn the other cheek. But funny enough the anger and hurt that stems from this is in turn channeled towards the other woman. Instead of focusing on the only person who should be held accountable (YOUR MAN) you focus on channeling your hate towards the other woman. You blame her for your mans infidelity, you blame her “hoe” ways for his lack of commitment, you excuse your mans unfaithfulness because this female is known to do this with men. WAKE THE FUCK UP. Your man cheated because he can. He knows what he can get away with, he knows you won’t leave, and most times he knows you won’t find out because most sidechicks aren’t messy, and your man knows how to cover his trail.
It seems like so many women are in denial and are having issues coming to realization of what their situation really is. They have created a fairy tale life and relationship in their head in order to bury their hurt and avoid facing the reality of life. They know exactly what is going on, but they have lied to so many people around them to cover up their embarrassment, but more unfortunately they have lied and denied to themselves so much that they inevitably began believing the false ideas in their head.
The sad reality is that when your man has a sidechick, he gives her the same attention he gives you. No he may not give her public acknowledgement, but the feelings she experiences when no one is watching and the love he shows her, just like he shows you, makes it all worth it in her head. But don’t get it twisted their are two types of sidechicks.
The Oblivious Sidechick
This my friend is a sticky and messy situation. This type of sidechick only exist when you are dealing with a young boy, who clearly is new to this realm of playerism. He will tell the unknowing sidechick that he is either single or on a break. He will introduce her to his friends, perhaps even his family. By doing this he gains her trust. Because most naive women think it’s a big deal to meet his friends. NEWSFLASH it’s not. They know exactly what he’s doing and at the end of the day that’s their friend NOT yours. They will entertain you just like him, and then all laugh about it later. But of course you’re oblivious to this. He’ll probably take you on dates, and if he’s extremely sloppy perhaps even let you post a picture. This type of boy allows you to get comfortable, makes you feel like you’re the only one. He creates this lavish but deceptive facade of relationship. He makes you feel loved and wanted. He’s your shoulder to cry on, and your…( well you know the rest). He allows you to fall so deeply in love with him and to him love is just a word, because at the end of the day he knows who hes going home to and who he will spend the rest of his life with, and it certainly is not you. But you never will know this, until the one day he fucks up, or the one day you decide to open your eyes, or his girlfriend opens them up or perhaps closes them for you. Either way this is when things get messy. Both women feel entitled to this same boy, and most likely are both naive girls them selves. There hurt will quickly generate into hate for one another, and instead of focusing on who really is the culprit, the victims will continue to victimize one another. This is a sad case of an oblivious side chick.
The Fully Aware Sidechick
This woman my friends is dangerous. These type of women were most likely at one point and time the oblivious sidechick or the cheated girlfriend. Either way they’re out for the kill. But they’re are two types of fully aware sidechicks. The “soldiers” and the “settlers”
The “soldiers” gave up their hearts and their yearning for love when they signed up for this position. They’re hearts have become so numb over the years after repeated heartaches, lies, fake relationships, and pointless talkationships. They have been stabbed in the back repeatedly over and over again, and honestly their no more room for emotions. They don’t feel, and they certainly don’t think with their heart. They know what they’re doing and it has nothing to do with love. Most likely these women are in it for something. In some cases it’s money, others “a nightcap” for those lonely nights, others for position and some sadly just because they can. They have become so numbed to world and their souls have essentially been sucked out of them. They do whatever they want to get whatever they want. However, at the end of the day it will never be enough. They remain, empty and cold, because no matter how hard they deny it they only want to be loved. They don’t threaten the mans relationship because they have no intention in going beyond the side chick level. They will not compromise getting what they want for a title so they “do what they gotta do to attain whatever it is their BRAIN desires”. Typically these women are sidechicks to men of power and stature. They won’t jeopardize these mens relationships, careers, and in some cases families, as long as they have what they need.
On the other hand we have the fully aware “settler sidechicks”. These women too have been hurt time after time, but unlike the “soldiers” their hearts have not been made numb. They too plead to secrecy, but unlike the soldiers they develop feelings and emotions, they too can develop the same type of relationship as the “oblivious side chick” but no matter what, they know that at the end of the day they are still the sidechick. These women are so desperate for love or attention, that they will settle for attention from a taken man instead of waiting for a man God has created individually for them. They create a fantasy of something more than what their relationship is. But “settler sidechicks” can also become a sticky situation. They begin to create this false illusion that perhaps that man will fall in love with her too and leave their girlfriend. Again, I say WAKE UP. He will NEVER leave his girlfriend for you. When he calls you to vent about her and how horrible she is, it is just that only venting. At the end of the day he will still go back to the only love of his life. Perhaps he will care deeply for you and take care of you, but don’t confuse that for love. When he is hanging out with you, that’s because she is busy. Do not create something that is not there. Once a man finds out that a fully aware settler sidechick is becoming too attached, he will cut her off. You Ms.Sidechick WILL be cut off, and again be alone and miserable.
Now to his girlfriend..
WAKE UP. Every woman has intuition. We KNOW when something is off. Your man has a schedule. A schedule you may ask? Yes, a schedule. He wakes up, takes a piss, checks twitter while on the toilet, takes his shower then goes to work. He’s usually off at 2:30 and will text at least three or four times most likely saying pointless nothings, but just to show he’s thinking about you. After work, he may stop to get something to eat, but is usually hope by 3-3:30, hangs with the fellas.. (OKAY you guys get it). Okay but all of a sudden his schedule is changing (FEMALE INTUITION ACTIVATE). He’s not a family man, but all of a sudden he eats dinner with his parents every sunday evening. He hates sports but now him and the guys are playing pick up soccer after work. Wake up sweetheart. It’s okay to accept reality. Most likely when you can’t trust someone theres good reasoning behind it. A little investigation doesn’t hurt, but just know when you go looking for something you usually find it and you MUST be ready to face what you find head on. So you find out theirs a sidechick(s). Now what? The easiest thing to say is LEAVE. Yes, this is what you should do but most women can’t. You have developed such a dependency on your man and more so probably on the familiarity of your relationship and not necessarily the relationship itself. It is okay to leave. Yes you are used to him but you can and will get used to someone else. But when you find out what has happened at all cost’s do NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT argue with the other woman. You are a queen, and she may not necessarily be a peasant in certain situations.. but you get my drift. She owes nothing to you because you two had no relationship. You’re partner is fully to blame and you must always remember this.